


Teddy Altman and the Captain America Crisis of 2016

by thecommodore_squid (orphan_account)



Series: A Historical Relic and a History Professor Walk into a Bar- [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Cap Steve, F/F, Fluff, History Professor Bucky Barnes, Interventions, Just BROS Bein DUDES, M/M, Modern Bucky, Poor Teddy, Teddy is Awful at Secrets, The No Homo Vibes are Strong with This One, the media - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6671116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thecommodore_squid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, Teddy was reverting to simply not saying anything at all. There was no way he was gonna be the one to accidentally blurt to someone important, “Oh, hey, by the way, Captain America is having a gay thing with a kickass amputee history professor.” He was <em>not</em> gonna be the weak link in this scenario.</p>
<p>AKA<br/>What exactly does one do when one finds out their favorite history professor may or may not be making out with Captain America on a regular basis?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teddy Altman and the Captain America Crisis of 2016

**Author's Note:**

> You should read [Steve Rogers Versus the Classics](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5787190/chapters/13337998) before reading this.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Comments and kudos make me a very happy camper.
> 
> Here, have some fluff.

Really, he should’ve known.

 

Teddy should’ve known that it had been too good to last.

 

“Professor Barnes is the best thing to ever happen to me,” he’d declared solemnly to Billy not two semesters ago. “And I’m going to take all the classes he ever teaches because he’s _the best thing to ever happen to me_.”

 

And now he was eating his fucking words.

 

“Teddy. Teddy. Yo,” America waved a hand in front of his face. “What’s up? You were spacing out.”

 

Teddy blinked once, then shook his head a little bit. “I’m fine,” he said very unconvincingly.

 

America shot him a dubious look. “You’re gonna want to work on your poker face, _chico_.”

 

How could he find the time to work on his goddamn poker face when he’d just found out his favorite professor was apparently making out with Captain America in his free time?

 

Professor Barnes. Made out. With Captain America.

 

It was almost too much to process.

 

So, Teddy was reverting to simply not saying anything at all. There was no way he was gonna be the one to accidentally blurt to someone important, “Oh, hey, by the way, Captain America is having a gay thing with a kickass amputee history professor.” He was _not_ gonna be the weak link in this scenario.

 

“Whose turn is it to buy coffee?” America asked as they approached their go-to embarrassingly hipster coffee place.

 

“I’ll get it,” Teddy said, feeling kind of distant. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything anymore? This was information that could be grounds for another Cold War or some shit.

 

Cold War II.

 

That was kinda a catchy name.

 

America let him stew in his misery for a while because she was a good friend like that. She understood when Teddy wanted to be miserable rather than cheered up.

 

She didn’t press for information, which was another reason why she was an excellent person.

 

Unfortunately, the peace did not last for long.

 

Kate came into the shop and collapsed into her seat with a huff, immediately throwing her bag on the floor and throwing her legs onto America’s lap. “Ugh,” she said, very loudly.

 

“Hey, princess,” America said with those heart eyes she insisted she didn’t get every time she looked at Kate.

 

“Hey, honey,” Kate sighed, rubbing her temples.

 

“How was home ec?”

 

“Well, I’m definitely not chef material.”

 

America laughed, circling her fingers around Kate’s ankle. “I could’ve told you that.”

 

Kate scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

America winked, and Kate glared at her half-heartedly. “How bad was it today?” America asked, more serious.

 

Kate sighed. “I blew up the stove.”

 

Teddy couldn’t smother his snort of amusement, and America’s lips twitched. “Of course you did.”

 

“I went to LA once,” Kate complained. “By myself. I helped people and shit. As an adult.”

 

“You didn’t live on your own, though. Didn’t those two guys basically adopt you?”

 

“Yeah,” Kate admitted reluctantly, and it was such a worn argument that Teddy relaxed a little bit.

 

America leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek, and Kate smiled a little bit.

 

She finally seemed to notice Teddy, blinking a little bit to herself. “Oh. Hey. How was your history class thing?”

 

Fuck.

 

Teddy blinked a few times. “What?” he said inelegantly.

 

Kate grinned. “I know Barnes is hot as fuck, but you have a boyfriend. You can’t space out during class. That’s gross.”

 

“Ew, Kate,” Teddy whined. “I literally only ever think about Billy like that. Oh my god, you’re so disgusting.”

 

“There’s actually nothing disgusting about sexual fantasies,” Kate pointed out.

 

“Teddy’s just vanilla and blinded by his Billy-tinted glasses. Leave him be,” America said.

 

Teddy blushed furiously.

 

“Anyway, how was your history shit?” Kate said.

 

“I heard that Barnes somehow got Captain America to come talk to his class,” America said, scrolling through her phone. “Wonder what kind of connections he has.”

 

Kate’s eyes darted away for a moment, and she swallowed kind of uneasily, but Teddy didn’t pay it much attention, too busy with his own internal crisis. “Yeah, I saw him,” he said faintly.

 

“Captain America?” America said dubiously.

 

Teddy nodded very slowly.

 

“Cool. Is that what has you all weird?”

 

“I- no- I mean-“

 

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Kate finally broke back in with a slightly strained smile.

 

Billy, Tommy, and David walked into the coffee shop like three beautiful life lines cutting off this line of damning conversation.

 

Billy smiled brightly at Teddy and sunk into the chair next to him. “Hey. How was history?”

 

Teddy couldn’t help his own blinding smile as he grabbed Billy’s hand. “Good. How was physics?”

 

“Good.”

 

“Gross,” Tommy coughed, even as he practically hung off David’s shoulder. What a fucking hypocrite. David caught his gaze and they shared an ironic eye roll. Tommy didn’t notice and flung himself dramatically into the seat next to Kate. “You would not _believe_ my morning.”

 

David scoffed and sat next to Teddy, which would’ve been weird a year ago, but they were okay now, and Billy didn’t even glance at David accusingly or anything. Progress.

 

Tommy launched himself into the story of his morning, and Teddy half-payed attention.

 

Really. He could keep one secret. How hard was it gonna be?

 

* * *

 

 

He couldn’t pay attention during Professor Barnes’ next lecture.

 

He was talking animatedly about literature emerging from World War II, but Teddy’s heart wasn’t in it today.

 

Plus, he was still having flashbacks to seeing Professor Barnes’ legs wrapped around Captain America’s waist while they made out in his office like teenagers, Professor Barnes’ lips all swollen and wet, his hair all fucked up, as Captain Fucking America smiled smugly at the image of a thoroughly wrecked history professor sitting dazedly on a desk.

 

Fuck. He had to focus.

 

“Mr. Altman.”

 

Teddy’s head snapped up.

 

Professor Barnes was looking at him with concern from the front of the room. Teddy glanced around, and everyone had left. What the fuck? When had the lecture ended? “Are you okay?” Professor Barnes asked, this terribly genuine line of worry on his forehead.

 

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m- I’m fine,” he managed, shoving to his feet frantically. “I- sorry. I just-“

 

Professor Barnes gave him a sympathetic look. “Yikes,” he said. “It’s okay. We all have those spacey days. I’ll email you the notes I have on the presentation from today. Come by if you have any questions.”

 

And risk walking in on another make out session between his favorite professor and Captain America??? Hell no! “Thank you, Professor,” Teddy managed and dashed his way out of the room As Fast As Possible.

 

Fuck. He had to get this image out of his system.

 

He called Billy. “Wanna go out tonight?”

 

The answer was the same as always.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You okay?” Billy asked quietly later, tracing fingers down Teddy’s chest.

 

Teddy sighed. “Yeah. I’m good.”

 

“You seemed distracted today,” Billy went on, pecking a kiss to his throat. “Anything I can help with?”

 

Why wasn’t Teddy just forgetting the whole damn incident and moving on? God, he was just as bad as the people who religiously followed the Kardashians, except now he was always thinking about Professor Barnes and how the fuck he ended up making out with Captain America. How did that even happen to a person? Teddy didn’t say any of that. Instead, he offered a vague hum.

 

Billy blew out a breath of air, tickling the skin of Teddy’s chest. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

 

The thing was, this wasn’t his information to tell. Billy had to know that. He _had_ to understand. “I know,” Teddy said softly. “Guess what?”

 

“What?”

 

“I love you.”

 

Billy smiled, and that was enough for a moment. For a lifetime, really.

 

* * *

 

 

Until it wasn’t.

 

“This is an intervention,” Tommy announced, which, yeah. That much was obvious. There was a fucking banner and everything, all _How I Met Your Mother_ style.

 

“What for?” Teddy asked cautiously.

 

“You’ve been weird,” David explained, and Teddy winced.

 

“It’s freaking us out, and you need to tell us what’s happening pronto,” Kate added.

 

Billy was suspiciously silent, staring at his feet.

 

Teddy cast his eyes about for a sympathetic face, but he found only determination in his friends’ expressions. Except Billy. Billy just wouldn’t look at him, though.

 

“What happened?” Kate asked, all gentle. “We know something had to have changed. You’re just... being weird. Kinda distant. It’s scaring us, Teddy.”

 

It was just one fucking secret. How was he supposed to get through life without being able to keep secrets, goddammit?

 

“Is it about your mom?” Billy asked quietly, and the air in the room froze in everyone’s lungs. Billy was the last person anyone ever thought would bring up Teddy’s dead mother.

 

Teddy shook his head numbly. “Uh. No.”

 

“You’re a history major,” David cut in, smoothing away the tension with all those talented conversational skills he had. Bless David. “But you change the subject when someone so much as mentions history. You get weird around Professor Barnes- won’t even talk about him when we know very well that he’s your favorite professor. Did you find some sort of disillusionment with history? You’re allowed to switch majors.”

 

Oh god. His friends were all brilliant people who were worried about real shit affecting his life- and why wouldn’t it- he’s a college student. Nobody would expect something as trivial as what he was hiding. “No- I love history,” Teddy said, pained.

 

“Then, what?” America prompted quietly, and even she looked fucking worried.

 

Teddy was a horrible person.

 

He let out a shaky breath. “I promise I’ll tell you if I can. It’s just. Not my information to tell.”

 

“We’re worried about you,” David said. “If this is something unhealthy, you should tell us.”

 

Teddy took a steadying breath and squared his shoulders. “Give me twenty-four hours. Then I’ll respond to that.”

 

Everyone was looking at him with worry and confusion, except Billy who still wouldn’t look at him. God, it was just one tiny inconsequential secret. Teddy was a terrible, terrible person.

 

He got out of the room before anyone could convince him to stay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Teddy knocked on the door, swallowing roughly, trying desperately not to panic.

 

“Come in!” Professor Barnes called.

 

Teddy took a deep breath and pushed the door open, closing it behind him so that he could fidget in relative peace.

 

Professor Barnes looked up at him and smiled. “Why, if it isn’t Mr. Altman. To what do we owe the pleasure?” he asked in his lecturer voice.

 

Teddy raked a hand through his hair and saw some of the playfulness fade from Professor Barnes’ eyes. “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” Teddy finally managed.

 

“Okay,” Professor Barnes said, straightening with concern.

 

Teddy hesitated before he sat down in the chair in front of Professor Barnes’ desk. The chair that had been kicked aside to make room for Captain America to stand in front of the same desk a few weeks ago. Shit, he hadn’t even lasted a month with this secret. He was an awful, terrible, horrible person.

 

“I know it’s not my secret to tell or anything, but it’s actually starting to affect my relationships and friendships, and they’re all worried about me or something, because apparently I can’t keep a secret for my life, but I don’t think I can keep going like this, and I know they’re all super trustworthy, and I really just want to tell them, but I totally understand if you don’t want me to, and-“

 

“Teddy, Teddy, wait,” Professor Barnes said. “Slow down. What are you talking about?”

 

Teddy blinked. Confused and hesitant, he said, “You made out with Captain America.”

 

Professor Barnes blinked in surprise for a second before understanding dawned on his features. “ _Oh_.”

 

“Oh,” Teddy echoed, kind of numbly. “And I just. It would only be telling a few people. You’ve had America Chavez in class, right? She’s really trustworthy, and so are all of my other friends, and-“

 

Professor Barnes gave him this indecipherable look, and Teddy shut up immediately. “Teddy, hold on a second.” He sighed, grabbing his laptop and starting to type. “Lemme show you something.”

 

Teddy sat frozen as Professor Barnes waited for his internet to work. He made a triumphant noise, clicked a few times, and turned the laptop around.

 

“Read this.”

 

Teddy scooted forward, and his eyes instantly landed on the header picture.

 

Professor Barnes was holding hands with Captain America as they walked down some street, and they were both giving each other these soft, tender smiles.

 

Teddy forced himself to look away from the picture to read the article.

 

**CAPTAIN AMERICA SPOTTED HANGING OUT WITH HIS NEW BUDDY! LOOKS LIKE CAP IS FINALLY MAKING FRIENDS IN THIS CENTURY.**

 

Teddy blinked. “What-“

 

“Keep reading, it gets worse,” Professor Barnes said gently.

 

**Captain Rogers has been mostly reclusive since he woke up from the Big Sleep. Sources confirm that the only emotional connections he’s established seem to have been with his teammates- the Avengers.**

**But all this seemed to change about a year ago.**

**The Captain was first spotted with the man in the picture above, James Barnes, last winter at a coffee shop. Since then, they’ve become good friends. Good for you, Cap!**

**Rogers and Barnes meet up frequently for some platonic activities, ranging from baseball games to brunch to going to see movies.**

**This all seems startlingly normal for someone born in 1918, but we’re proud of Captain Rogers nonetheless.**

**Below are some of our favorite photos from Barnes and Rogers’ various get-togethers.**

Teddy blinked, looking back up to make sure he’d really read the words “platonic activities” to describe Professor Barnes and Captain America’s relationship.

 

Yeah. Platonic.

 

“Did you get to the pictures?” Professor Barnes asked hesitantly.

 

“Oh. Right.” Teddy returned to the screen.

 

The pictures continuously got more and more intimate, and Teddy had never been more appalled with the media.

 

A picture of Professor Barnes and Captain America leaning into each other over a candlelit dinner literally had the caption: **Dinner for bros!**

 

Then there was the picture of them clinging onto each other on an ice skating rink, staring into each other’s eyes with unmistakable intensity. The caption read: **Friendly ice skating!**

 

But Teddy’s favorite was the last one.

 

The picture showcased Professor Barnes sitting on a bench in some park. Captain America’s head was in his lap, and he seemed to be drawing something at that awkward angle as Professor Barnes looked down at him fondly, playing with his hair. The caption said: **Brotherly hangout at the park!**

 

Teddy looked up at Professor Barnes in shock.

 

Professor Barnes laughed, and his eyes were just the slightest bit sad. “Steve and I haven’t exactly tried to keep our relationship secret,” he said quietly. “The media did it for us. Neither of us really care, though. You can tell anybody you want.”

 

“You mean,” Teddy blurted out, “I could go out into the street right now and tell people you’re banging Captain America?” and immediately snapped his mouth shut.

 

Professor Barnes leaned forward, a twinkle in his eyes as he whispered, “No one would believe you.”

 

Teddy let out a hysterical, relieved laugh. “Damn.”

 

“I’m so sorry you thought it was a secret,” Professor Barnes said guiltily. “I didn’t mean to make you-“

 

The door opened, effectively cutting off his sentence as a deep, very triumphant voice said, “And here’s the takeout!” Then, “Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were with a student.”

 

Teddy turned around to see Captain America hovering awkwardly in the doorway with an armful of takeout.

 

Professor Barnes laughed. “Hey, Stevie, wait, c’mere.” He made grabby hands, and Captain America practically bounded into the room, his whole face lit up happily.

 

Professor Barnes called Captain America “Stevie.” Teddy didn’t know what to do with this information.

 

Captain America sat on the edge of Professor Barnes’ desk, and Professor Barnes grabbed his hand. “Steve, this is Teddy. He’s one of my favorite students. Takes all my classes and everything.”

 

Teddy flushed, and Captain America smiled politely at him. “Nice to meet you.”

 

“We’ve. Uh. Sorta? Met? Ish?”

 

Captain America blinked. “Oh. You’re the one who saw us necking, right?”

 

Teddy bit down a whimper.

 

And then.

 

_Then._

 

Captain America fucking smirked, dropping his voice into a low whisper, “I hope it was an _educational_ experience.”

 

“Steve!” Professor Barnes said, half-scolding, half-delighted. “He is a _child_. You’re not allowed to corrupt him.”

 

Teddy frowned. “I’m not-“

 

But Captain America beat him to it, rolling his eyes with a shocking amount of sass. “Buck, please,” he scoffed.

 

“Don’t you ‘Buck, please,’ me, you asshole.”

 

“I thought you liked my asshole?”

 

“Steven-Grant-Rogers-I-swear,” Professor Barnes snapped, but his tone was somehow playful.

 

He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but the, “Oh my god,” was mostly involuntary.

 

Professor Barnes and Captain America turned back to him, both looking a little guilty. “Sorry, Teddy,” Professor Barnes said sheepishly, and Captain America blushed a little bit, and Teddy didn’t know what to do with all this information.

 

“No, no, it’s totally cool,” he managed, getting to his feet. “You two enjoy your takeout and have a good night.”

 

“You too, Teddy. Don’t forget about your essay over the weekend.”

 

“I never do.”

 

“I know.”

 

Teddy glanced back at the room one last time as he left, catching a glimpse of Captain America leaning in to press a soft, loving kiss to Professor Barnes’ forehead.

 

Teddy turned around and walked towards his dorm.

 

* * *

 

 

“Professor Barnes is banging Captain America,” he blurted out, nearly shouting it.

 

There was a golden beat of silence, forever suspended in half-peace, half-war.

 

Then:

 

“WHAT.”

 

Teddy deflated with a relieved smile as the chaos washed over him.

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm on tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thecommodoresquid)


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